Back when I was in college, I needed money so bad, that I was forced to take quite a lot of odd jobs. Who wasn’t, right? One of the oddest, if I can call that, was working as a book salesman in my home town. You’re probably asking yourself right what kind of person would complain about selling books. I, for one, of course, and probably most of my former co-workers.
See, recommending a title to someone or arranging them on the shelves were the easy parts – you still had to haul them by hand or cart from the back. So, right before I told my manager that we could take his job, wrap it in barbed wire and shove in the place where the sun doesn’t and won’t shine, we had a really busy week.
Long story short, I had to haul quite a lot of book-filled crates. The next morning, my back felt so sore, that I could hardly get out of bed. From there it got progressively worse: numbness in the feet, cringy back pain, stuff like that. My doc told me that I had something called lumbar discopathy, a very fancy word for your spinal column being broken.
Although I’ve tried my best to take it easy, sometimes, I can still feel pain shooting down my back. Thanks, college-me for this marvelous gift! I hope you get psoriasis or something. Anyway, many years later, I’ve tried almost any type of back treatment, short of surgery, for my raging back pain – physical therapy, diets, more exercising, less straining, you know, the usual. For a while, I was okay-ish, but when the weather went sore, so did my back.
Finally, after reading tons of stuff on this subject, I happened about a quaint little recipe which, according to the author, can relieve any kind of join, back or knee pain. Sure, I always preferred witchdoctors over MDs, but why the Hell not, I said to myself.
I kid you not when I’m saying as this stuff smells nasty, and it tastes even worse. But, by God, it really does what’s it supposed to do – take away the pain (wish it could do the same to memories).
Now, the recipe I’m about to show you involves three types of seeds and raisins. I know that it sounds like a stomach-churning combo, but give it a chance. Apart from being great at dealing with all sorts of pains and pangs, you can use leftovers to create survival energy bars. You can also eat it for breakfast instead of cereals, poached eggs, pancakes or whatever.
So, here’s the wonder-med I’ve been talking about.
“Dead leaves, seaweed, rotten eggs, too, stir them in my witch’s brew.”
As I’ve mentioned, this recipe calls for three types of seeds: pumpkin, flax, and sesame. The first is held in very high regard among docs and dieticians since they’re packed with an omega-3 fatty acid, known for its anti-inflammatory effect, zinc, copper, and other essential minerals. As for pumpkin seed, they do contain a fair among of omega-3 fatty acids, along with vitamin B1, phosphorus, and selenium.
Sesame seeds are highly recommended for people with brittle bones, and it’s very effective against any type of inflammation. Word of warning though – curb your sesame seeds intake during pregnancy, as high levels can induce preeclampsia.
Raisins, on the other hand, can aid digestion, since their packed with vitamins, fibers, and a shit-load of minerals. You should consider eating more raising if you have an iron deficiency.
Anyway, this is the basis for this wonder cure. You’re still going to need a couple of more stuff though like honey and gelatin. Let’s get cooking!
- Honey (two squirts or 200 grams).
- Gelatin (no more than three tablespoons).
- Sesame seeds (4 or 5 tablespoons).
- Flax seeds (8 tablespoons).
- Pumpkin seeds (a small pack or 40 grams).
How to prepare
I should warn you that this recipe is very challenging. You’ll have to be at a chef’s aide to pull this one-off. It calls for extreme concentration, precision, finesse, and a knack for balancing the ingredients. Are you for this challenge? Good! Here’s what to do, young padawan.
Step 1. Gather up all your ingredients.
Step 2. Plug in your food processor or blender.
Step 3. Toss everything inside and hit the “pulse” button a couple of times.
Step 4. When the food processor\blender finished chopping the big chunks, switch it to low, and leave the thing alone for a couple of minutes.
Step 5. Switch off the blender, pour the contents inside a bowl, and mix with a spoon or something.
Step 6. Enjoy (or not)!
That’s it! You now know how to prepare the most complicated natural remedy for pains or pangs in the world. About the aspect part – yes, I’m painfully aware of the fact that it looks disgusting, but with the added honey it should taste more or less like semolina pudding. You can eat for breakfast or as an after-dinner dessert; it’s entirely up to you. If there are any leftovers, you can always turn them into survival bars.
It’s super easy: keep your moist ingredients aside and use the dry ones as the basis for your MREs. Add a little bit of milk powder or sugar, mix the batter, add the moist ingredients, and put the batter in the oven. You may want to check my article on how to prepare home-made MREs for additional ingredients and instructions.
So, this simple recipe will help you deal with any kind of pains, back or otherwise. I can’t say for sure how long before it kicks in – can be a couple of days, weeks or even months. In my case, I started feeling a whole lot better after eating this pudding for an entire month.
Anyway, hope you liked my recipe, guys. Hit the comment section to tell me how things turned out for you.