Imagine that the S has HTF, and you’re one of the lucky survivors. While many didn’t make it, your “preps” provided the sustenance that made it possible to ride out whatever apocalyptic event occurred. Over time, you’ve acquired many skills for self-sufficiency, and you have no interest in banding together with other survivors. In fact, almost all of the survivors prefer to live as nomadic individuals or isolated families in a post-apocalyptic world. Eventually though, that will change.
The most important rediscovery in a post-apocalyptic world will be fried-chicken. Fried chicken will not only be a catalyst for a post-apocalyptic civilization, it will divide humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Frying chicken requires vegetable oil and flour, which will lead to the reemergence of agriculture. Since there will be no home delivery, those wanting fried chicken will stay close to the source, and that’s how villages will be formed. Some men will spend their days building pens and raising chickens. These men will be known as Conservatives.
Other men will have no agricultural, or chicken raising skills. They will learn to live off of the Conservatives by doing their sewing, hair dressing, and fetching. This will be the beginning of the Liberal movement.
As time passes, Conservatives will once again become big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively.
Liberals will not be involved in society until Conservatives have once again tamed the land. In a post-apocalyptic world, Liberals will domesticate cats, and facilitate group therapy. Although they’ll produce little or nothing, Liberals will consider themselves “enlightened”. They’ll prefer to govern the producers, and decide how to divide the fried chicken that the Conservatives provide.
Not all villages will be productive in a post-apocalyptic world. Some people will be content to sit around a campfire, moaning about their bad fortune. “It’s so unfair”, they’ll say, “that some villages have so much, while we have so little.” As luck will have it, Liberals will come to the rescue by redistributing fried chicken, taking from the productive villages and giving to the non-productive ones. To further enhance their image, Liberals will offer free cooking oil and flour to everyone. This will not sit well with members of the productive villages who will be forced to supply those things, but Liberals will counter Conservative arguments by calling them names and correcting their grammar. Liberals will become so popular with those receiving the handouts that little can be done to stop them.
This ends today’s lesson in post-apocalyptic history. It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more Liberals, just to piss them off.
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The inspiration for this came from a humorous story I read recently concerning the invention of beer, and from my favorite place to go to for fried chicken. I take prepping seriously. I believe that the things I’m doing now may one day save my life, or that of a loved one. I also believe that humor is often the best medicine, and I find that it keeps me going at times when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I’m grateful for the many contributions from my fellow preppers, and I’ve learned a lot from them, even when I disagree. Hopefully I’ll never have to use my preps as the result of societal collapse, but if it comes to that, I’m not going to have time for the political correctness that has permeated our society today. I’m not going to deal with non-productive people who’ll drag me down. I won’t support those who are able, but choose not to support themselves. I have friends who are skilled at hunting, fishing, building, and fixing things, but I also have friends who can’t do any of those things. I’ve often wondered what kind of childhood they had that so poorly prepared them for life. Were they more concerned with keeping up with the Kardashians?
I’ll support capitalism. I’ll help those who are less fortunate than me, but not to the extent that it puts my own survival at risk. I’ll contribute to charity based on what I think is fair, and not according to what someone else thinks is my fair share. In a post-apocalyptic world, I won’t respect “gun-free” zones, and I certainly won’t listen to those who tell me I should give up my weapons. Call me a bigot if you want, but if I’m suspicious of anyone, for any reason, that person will not be part of my inner-circle. I would rather be wrong, and alive, than right, and dead.
Knowing that my contribution will not reflect to views of everyone, I encourage alternative opinions in the form of respectful comments, or humorous stories.
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